Throw it away- You'll feel better!

The boys in my house have a saying, "if we can't find it, mom probably threw it away." Ninety percent of the time, I would admit this is probably likely true. I have a solid relationship with donation locations, recycling bins, compost bins, and trash cans. In fact, we talk every day.

Clutter is chaos, and chaos is negative energy. Our ability to function at a high level of clear thought and intellect is lessened by the chaos and disarray around us. We function at a lower level when we are thinking about chaos. Clearing the clutter physically, clears the mental clutter, and allows us to bust through our mental barriers and blocks. That being said, we often do not throw away our unused or no-longer-needed items because we have emotional attachments or don't know how to choose what to throw out. I have created a simple process to start you on your decluttering journey, and here it is at the beginning of 2023, what better time to start?!

Rule #1- How many times have you picked something up to get it out of the way, only to set it down again, never to use it?

This friend is called a paperweight, and unless you live in a breezy hut on an island somewhere, (btw I would love to visit if so,) you don't really need any paperweights. My rule of thumb is if I have to move something more than 5 times because it was in the way, I begin to ask myself if I need the item at all.

If you have to move that bowl on your vanity, meant for jewelry, but not used that way, every time you brush your teeth, it may be time to let it go. Walking around that box on the floor, that at this point you can't remember how it got there or what it's from, for the thousandth time? Not only will you not miss the box, but you might also even enjoy the clear walking path! If you find yourself moving the tiny toddler shoes aside to place your now 8-year-old's shoes on the rack, there is a good chance they won't miss them when you donate them.

Those items that simply fade into the background, becoming unnecessary and obtrusive extensions of our home, are the ones to focus on for this rule. Especially if the item doesn't have a home...but don't get me started on that. That's for another day!

Rule # 2- Does it mean something to you?

This one is hard. Often times I find myself trying to place a value on an item, simply because I like it, whether it's useful, or not. Guess what, that is TOTALLY fine. In fact, getting rid of the items that seem to fall into the "never used" category, which also doesn't seem to have any meaning or emotional attachment for you, leaves space for the things that do mean something. That trinket that your great-grandmother passed down to your mother, and now it's yours, sits behind a few items on an overly stuffed shelf, never really being seen. Clearing the clutter, and finding the things that really strike an emotion, bring back memory, or even make you tear up, is good for our souls. I personally have very little emotional attachment to physical items. The ones I do though, boy do I. I will never get rid of Chrysanthemum, my bunny rabbit. My mother gave her to me when I was 7 years old on Easter. It was my first Easter in our new house, which I loathed. We had moved what felt like eons away from everything I knew, and Chrysanthemum was my only comfort. My mother passed away when I was 10, and while I honestly don't have a ton of her things, my bunny brings her back to me in the best way. Your something doesn't have to mean quite that much to you, but leaving space for those items that really do bring you back to moments, remind you of your favorite times or people, or even simply put a smile on your face, means evoking those meaningful emotions in your life, on a daily basis. Let's not hide them behind meaningless clutter.

Rule # 3- Can you recall why, or how it came to be in your home?

Now, this rule could be a part of rule # 2, as you will be recalling the origin of an item most likely when you recall the emotion attached to it. So let's focus on what we really mean here, and the items that can be cleared out based on this rule, rather than those that can stay.

If you pick up an item and think, "huh, I am not even sure what this is?" likely it can find itself in the donation bin. Have you ever opened a drawer and realized you have 45 of those Allen wrenches that come with every piece of "some assembly required," anything? It's like they multiplied overnight! The next piece of furniture you buy will come with them too, so not holding on to all of

them, is entirely acceptable. Tupperware is a long-standing example of this rule. That one piece, with the pink lid and floral design, where did that come from? Probably Aunt Petunia sent it home with leftover potato salad for you when you accidentally told her it was your favorite. That was what, 4 maybe 5, years ago? Give Aunt P a call and see if she wants the dish that she likely forgot about, back. If not, bye! Who knows maybe she has been angry that you kept it all these years, and you have just severed a lost relationship with that phone call. BOOM! Doesn't clearing clutter feel amazing? Yes, you are throwing out things, clearing up space, and dusting the back of the bookcase you haven't seen in 15 years. But you are also reestablishing connections and memories, creating a positive space to thrive in, and those happiness endorphins are off the chain.

Rule # 4- Nine month rule.

If you live in a location similar to where I live in Asheville, NC, you have seasons. We sometimes have all 4 seasons in one day, so never mind organizing your closet by season. More on that later.

Seasons typically do not last more than 3 months, though they run into each other and get all mixed in. So I chose the nine-month rule to cover a seasonal use item. Keep in mind, this does not apply to specific holiday décor, should you choose to have that. Think clothing, shoes, bags, blankets, toys, and other items meant for season or year-round use. This is also the most difficult rule in my opinion, and why it's last. I recommend applying the above 3 rules to an item when you apply this rule. That trinket we talked about before, has not been used in years. Maybe not even seen in years! However, it evokes an emotion, and you remember why you have it. Those rules trump this rule in that case. But not to worry, there are plenty of items this can apply to.

What about that rusted firepit out by the garage that you swore you would use in the Spring, Summer, and Fall? However it became a yard ornament, and it is now Spring again. You deserve a firepit, but clearly, that one isn't doing it for you. By keeping it, you aren't allowing yourself to get one you love, and will use. This is why I LOVE this rule. It's the, "I said I would use it, and I really want to, but for whatever reason, I haven't," killer. Choosing to keep items around that don't get used, subconsciously tells us that we shouldn't replace them with something we will use, since that space is already filled. How long have you not made the purchase for those sleek black stilettos, because you have a pair that's similar? Yet, every time there is an opportunity to wear them, you choose not to put those things on your feet! Make space for the things you want. I bet Bob next door has been eyeing that old firepit for months, really upset you aren't using it. Let him know it's his, for $30 bucks, and put that money towards the one you already know you really want.

Guilty admittance here, but I use this rule for my son's things. Kids grow so quickly, both physically and mentally. I pay attention to his prized possessions, careful not to put those in the giveaway bin, but I also sneak those ridiculously too-young toys out the door as often as possible. If you happen to have a kid like mine, here's a tip. My son is a small identical version of my husband, who never gets rid of anything. Ya'll, can you imagine? You clearly know by now if you have made it this far, that I really hate clutter, and I don't keep things. I just put on a smile and politely remind myself that God doesn't give you things you can't handle...right? The remedy to this is what I like to refer to as "junk perge" short for junk purgatory. I have a box that lives in the garage, out of the way and out of sight. For items of theirs, I place them in the box and begin the 9-month rule over. Ok, sometimes I only wait 6 months, but you get the point. If they haven't missed it since then, they won't miss it later.

I really don't recommend hiding things from your family, and often I actually cave and show them. To my shock, there have been times the items do not make their way back into the house.

But this brings up an important part of organizational coaching. Maybe the most important piece if we're being honest. Not everyone sees these rules as black and white, or see's the items the same way. Our brains all function incredibly differently. In order to really help someone declutter their life, it's important to get to know them and what makes them happy. Maybe having 9000 cookbooks is literally the joy of your life. That's not for me, but I can help you organize and utilize those cookbooks if that's what is important to you.

I have seen people who know exactly where every paper in their office is, even though it's a scattered mess you can't walk through. I have also seen people whose office was immaculate, but they could not find a thing. Organizational coaching is creating a space you thrive in, feel good about, and are proud of, whatever that looks and feels like to you.

A place for every piece. A peace for every place. ~Leah

Be sure to take advantage of the workbook created to help you implement the rules and strategies for your decluttering journey!

Download the Free Habit Tracker Workbook